What are some things that make Indians sad?

Answer by Shikhar Mangla:

1: When we don’t care enough to throw rubbish in a bin but we are the first to call India dirty!
 



2: When Dhoom 3 remains Housefull for ages but a movie like Udaan is still unseen by millions of Indians.

 
 
 
3: When Yo Yo Honey Singh is more popular than Rabbi.
 

 
 
4: When politicians spend more on building statues than building the nation.

 
 
 
5: Seeing Team India’s batting flounder and wishing that Sachin was there to rescue us.
 

 
 
6: When these guys are called "Youth Icons."
 

 
 
7: When religious affiliation of a person matters more than the kind of human being he is.
 

 
 
8: When Indians donate lakhs to religious institutions but ignore the needy and the NGOs who represent them.
 

 
 
9: When this is what qualifies as the movie of the year at award shows like Filmfare and IIFA!
 

 
 
10: When this is the most watched show on Indian Television.
 

 
 
11: When we have to take to the streets every time we demand justice!

 
 
12: When our judicial system refuses to remove archaic laws like Section 377.
 

 
 
13: Any athlete other than a cricketer is worth shit in our country.
 

 
 
14: When the website of the World’s biggest railways looks like this.
 

 
 
15: India making it into lists that we’re not proud of.

 
 
16: People treating our streets like urinals and latrines.
 

 
 
17:  When for parents, grades matter more than knowledge.
 

 
 
18: While TV shows abroad are breaking boundaries, all our shows look the same.
 

 
 
19: The great Indian reservation system.
 

 
 
20: When someone gets arrested for writing on Facebook and Twitter.

 
 
21: When these guys are called celebs.
 

 
 
22: When the Government has money for gala events but comes up empty when it comes to the needy.
 

 
 
23: The exchange rate…
 

 
24: We’re not open to constructive criticism about our country. Even if India is wrong, India is right.
 

 
 
25: When Indian youth don’t know who the President is but know who the winner of Roadies is.
 

 

26: And finally, when our best minds who are capable enough of fixing India choose money over the nation.
 

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Rules that guys wish women knew

Finally, someone has took up the challenge and wrote these epic rules which every woman should know. All points are marked ‘#1’ intentionally.

  1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

 

  1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, Put it down. When you’re done with the toilet seat, put it back up. You like it down, we like it up. So stop complaining. Did you ever see us complaining because it is down?

 

  1. Do not cut your hair. Ever!! Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

 

  1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

 

  1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.

 

  1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

 

  1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, philosophy and monster trucks.

 

  1. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

  1. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

  1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

 

  1. You have enough clothes.

 

  1. You have too many shoes.

 

  1. Crying is blackmail.

 

  1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

 

  1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

 

  1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

 

  1. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.

 

  1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

 

  1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

  1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

  1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

 

  1. Check your oil!

 

  1. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

 

  1. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

 

  1. No, it does not matter which quiz.

 

  1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

  1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 

  1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

  1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.

 

  1. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

 

  1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.

 

  1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

  1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

 

  1. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. If you dress like an easy woman, you should expect to be treated like one.

 

  1. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

 

  1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

 

  1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like old windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

 

  1. Ditto melon.

 

  1. If it itches, it will be scratched. Also, if we have to pass gas or burp, we will.

 

  1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

 

  1. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.

 

  1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

 

  1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

  1. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about making out with her. But do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her, together.

 

  1. Sometimes we just don’t want to talk. Don’t take it personally.

 

  1. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we’re planning to dump you and jump them.

 

  1. Our favorite T-shirts are not “disgraceful.” They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation, our favorite childhood superhero or number 23.

 

  1. Helpless is not cute.

 

  1. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don’t talk to us while we’re doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don’t hear you (honestly), or we’ll screw up what we’re doing because you’ve distracted us.
    Exception to this Rule : Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.

 

  1. You can’t complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.

 

  1. Don’t expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn’t mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.

 

  1. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.

 

  1. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, “I went to the beauty shop today.”

 

  1. We don’t believe you when you say money isn’t important to you.

 

  1. It’s not that we don’t want to make you happy, it’s just that sometimes, we don’t know how.

 

The women version isn’t bad either.
A REAL BOYFRIEND HAVE TO DO THESE:

  1. When she stares at your mouth, Kiss her

 

  1. When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she thinks shes stronger than you, Grab her and don’t let go

 

  1. When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough, Kiss her and tell her you love her

 

  1. When she’s quiet, Ask her whats wrong

 

  1. When she ignores you, Give her your attention

 

  1. When she pulls away, Pull her back

 

  1. When you see her at her worst, Tell her she’s beautiful

 

  1. When you see her start crying, Just hold her and don’t say a word

 

  1. When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

 

  1. When she’s scared, Protect her

 

  1. When she steals your favorite hoodie, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

 

  1. When she teases you, Tease her back and make her laugh

 

  1. When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

 

  1. When she looks at you with doubt, Back yourself up

 

  1. When she says that she loves you, she really does more than you can understand

 

  1. When she grabs at your hands, Hold her’s and play with her fingers

 

  1. When she bumps into you; bump into her back and make her laugh

 

  1. When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold

 

  1. When she looks at you in your eyes, dont look away until she does

 

  1. When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers

 

  1. Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

 

  1. When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go

 

  1. When she says she’s ok don’t believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you

 

  1. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

 

  1. Treat her like she’s all that matters to you

 

  1. Stay up all night with her when she’s sick

 

  1. Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid

 

  1. Give her the world.

 

  1. Let her wear your clothes

 

  1. When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

 

  1. Let her know she’s important.

 

  1. Don’t talk about other girls around her

 

  1. Kiss her in the pouring rain

 

  1. When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
    “Whose ass am i kicking baby?”

P.S: These rules are written and extended by many people. Thanks to all of them who did a great job in sharing them.

What is the one key reason you will vote for Narendra Modi in the upcoming elections?

Answer by Abhinandan Patil:

Consider this situation.

You are damn hungry and need to eat something ASAP.

There are three cakes from three different bakers on your table. The first one looks very bad. The second one looks just fine, but not that great. The third one looks great.

So simple right? Taste all of them and eat the one which tastes the best? NO. Come on, there has to be some catch.
You can pick just one cake among the three.

NOTE : Looks and the taste of the cakes are completely unrelated.

Cake 1:
You've been eating the cakes from the first baker from 10 years(many of your ancestors visited the same bakery too) and you know it tastes terrible. These bakers have been in town from a long time. Their forefathers used to make good cakes occasionally and they think they have inherited the same qualities. They sell cakes to poor people like you and I and make more profit by overcharging. They also mix a special ingredient in their cakes. There are many family members working in the bakery and all of them make individual profits too.

This is just a rough picture of what the first cake might look like:

Aww, looks dirty. :/

Cake 2:
Now, Jignesh Patel, your friend who stays in the adjacent lane has been eating cakes from the second baker for quite some time. He tells you that the cakes are generally good. But one day, there was some misplaced order to their place which got him and his neighbour fighting. It was kinda big deal, both of them were badly hurt.They both are kinda cool now,you know, they hangout together and all that. He constantly tries to persuade you to eat from the second baker. But you had to avoid, because, you know, it was not possible since you had bought plenty of coupons of the first baker already.

Assume Cake 2 looks like this.

Kinda cool, but, but, where's the icing?

Cake 3:
Man, this one looks great. But wait, it's the the new bakers in town. Uh ho, these people just have the one outlet and not many people have tasted their cakes. And the master baker refuses to work sometimes, he sits outside the bakery with a shawl over his head if doesn't get all the ingredients he wants. Basically not much is known about the quality and consistency of these bakers.These people also seem to have a special ingredient, they claim that their kitchen is open to all and everybody can inspect their baking methods. These bakers are planning to give free cakes to those who haven't paid their previous bills.

Looks yum, doesn't it?

Okay, now you know. No points for guessing who these bakers are.

Which cake would you eat?

The one that looks amazing, but might turn out to be stale?
The one that your friend recommends?
The one that you've been eating(suffering)all these days?

Before deciding, please go back and read the note.

Whatever cake you decide to eat, remember, they make you buy coupons for the next five years, so be careful!!!.

PS: Jignesh Patel is fictional character. Any resemblance to anybody living, dead or a Gujarati is purely co incidental.

PS: I am adding a few things because of some comments which say I haven't answered the question.

I was very plump during my childhood and now I'm one of the skinniest people on earth. Thanks to timely blows from Lee and Ali, you know, those adjacent colony guys. But my health deteriorated mainly because I ate cakes from the first bakers all this time. They overcharged, made me poor and gave me tasteless stale cakes. Meanwhile Jignesh Patel looks healthier now, may be he has put on some weight after eating cakes from the second bakers.

 Time to pick the cake,

First one? NO!
Third? Looks tempting, but, but, they give free cakes to people who don't pay their bills, and I pay my bills :/
Second? Well, I think I'll listen to Jignesh this time.

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