Rules that guys wish women knew

Finally, someone has took up the challenge and wrote these epic rules which every woman should know. All points are marked ‘#1’ intentionally.

  1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

 

  1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, Put it down. When you’re done with the toilet seat, put it back up. You like it down, we like it up. So stop complaining. Did you ever see us complaining because it is down?

 

  1. Do not cut your hair. Ever!! Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

 

  1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

 

  1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.

 

  1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

 

  1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, philosophy and monster trucks.

 

  1. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

  1. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

  1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

 

  1. You have enough clothes.

 

  1. You have too many shoes.

 

  1. Crying is blackmail.

 

  1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

 

  1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

 

  1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

 

  1. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.

 

  1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

 

  1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

  1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

  1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

 

  1. Check your oil!

 

  1. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

 

  1. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

 

  1. No, it does not matter which quiz.

 

  1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

  1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 

  1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

  1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.

 

  1. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

 

  1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.

 

  1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

  1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

 

  1. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. If you dress like an easy woman, you should expect to be treated like one.

 

  1. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.

 

  1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

 

  1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like old windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

 

  1. Ditto melon.

 

  1. If it itches, it will be scratched. Also, if we have to pass gas or burp, we will.

 

  1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

 

  1. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.

 

  1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

 

  1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

  1. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about making out with her. But do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her, together.

 

  1. Sometimes we just don’t want to talk. Don’t take it personally.

 

  1. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we’re planning to dump you and jump them.

 

  1. Our favorite T-shirts are not “disgraceful.” They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation, our favorite childhood superhero or number 23.

 

  1. Helpless is not cute.

 

  1. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don’t talk to us while we’re doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don’t hear you (honestly), or we’ll screw up what we’re doing because you’ve distracted us.
    Exception to this Rule : Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.

 

  1. You can’t complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.

 

  1. Don’t expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn’t mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.

 

  1. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.

 

  1. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, “I went to the beauty shop today.”

 

  1. We don’t believe you when you say money isn’t important to you.

 

  1. It’s not that we don’t want to make you happy, it’s just that sometimes, we don’t know how.

 

The women version isn’t bad either.
A REAL BOYFRIEND HAVE TO DO THESE:

  1. When she stares at your mouth, Kiss her

 

  1. When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she thinks shes stronger than you, Grab her and don’t let go

 

  1. When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough, Kiss her and tell her you love her

 

  1. When she’s quiet, Ask her whats wrong

 

  1. When she ignores you, Give her your attention

 

  1. When she pulls away, Pull her back

 

  1. When you see her at her worst, Tell her she’s beautiful

 

  1. When you see her start crying, Just hold her and don’t say a word

 

  1. When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

 

  1. When she’s scared, Protect her

 

  1. When she steals your favorite hoodie, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

 

  1. When she teases you, Tease her back and make her laugh

 

  1. When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

 

  1. When she looks at you with doubt, Back yourself up

 

  1. When she says that she loves you, she really does more than you can understand

 

  1. When she grabs at your hands, Hold her’s and play with her fingers

 

  1. When she bumps into you; bump into her back and make her laugh

 

  1. When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold

 

  1. When she looks at you in your eyes, dont look away until she does

 

  1. When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers

 

  1. Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

 

  1. When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go

 

  1. When she says she’s ok don’t believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you

 

  1. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

 

  1. Treat her like she’s all that matters to you

 

  1. Stay up all night with her when she’s sick

 

  1. Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid

 

  1. Give her the world.

 

  1. Let her wear your clothes

 

  1. When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

 

  1. Let her know she’s important.

 

  1. Don’t talk about other girls around her

 

  1. Kiss her in the pouring rain

 

  1. When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
    “Whose ass am i kicking baby?”

P.S: These rules are written and extended by many people. Thanks to all of them who did a great job in sharing them.

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