Sleep paralysis – An interaction with the Supernatural

I used to make fun of people when they narrate ghost stories to me and I used to say like, “What age are you living in? Ghosts don’t exist! Stop fooling yourselves!” But one day, I had to acknowledge their existence and cursed myself for my ignorance.

Let me share my experience…

It happened to me long back but I still remember that horrible incident. I was having a good sleep that night. The room was dark and silent. I was probably dreaming about cricket, college and friends. Suddenly I felt a gust of air and a beam of light on my face. My bed is beside a window. I opened my eyes thinking that someone switched on lights in the other room. All of a sudden, some dark figure rushed towards me with lightning speed from that window and sat on my belly! It closed my mouth with full force. I thought it was some freaking dream and I tried to wake up from that. But I couldn’t.. Coz I’m not dreaming!! I felt everything…Every fucking thing!! It scared the hell out of me! I was choking! I tried to wake my mom who was sleeping beside me but my hands weren’t moving!! My entire body was paralyzed. I couldn’t get that thing off me!! All I could do is pray! I prayed to god, pleaded that demon that I don’t want to die so young! After a brief moment, I got that thing off. Window closed..wind stopped..lights off.. I regained my senses.. I got off my bed and thanked god for saving me. I woke up my mom and told her what I went through in the past minute or so. My typical Indian mom gave her lecture in the middle of night.
“That’s why I asked you not to play in that ground next to cemetery! You never listen to me and thinks I’m so dumb to believe in such things and babas! Now where is your science?! I will kick you if you play there again!”
I was literally dumbstruck! Couldn’t say a word against her belief that time!
She brought some nice amount of ash from the praying room and rubbed it on forehead and told me that everything will be fine now!
I was shocked, confused and frightened! I just couldn’t believe what just happened! I never criticised people talking about ghosts from then. I joined them instead and shared my experience.
The sceptical side of me wanted to see that thing again whereas the other side of me didn’t want to go through that shit again!

After few years I saw a picture somewhere just like the situation I’ve been through. A quick googling said that is “Sleep paralysis” and it is believed to be a result of disrupted REM sleep. Sleep paralysis occurs either when falling asleep, or when awakening. When it occurs upon falling asleep, the person remains aware while the body shuts down for REM sleep, and it is called hypnagogic or predormital sleep paralysis. When it occurs upon awakening, the person becomes aware before the REM cycle is complete, and it is called hypnopompic or postdormital.
Hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations are symptoms commonly experienced during episodes of sleep paralysis. Some scientists have proposed this condition as an explanation for reports of alien abductions and ghostly encounters.
Many people that experience sleep paralysis are struck with a deep sense of terror, because they sense a menacing presence in the room while paralyzed—hereafter referred to as the intruder. This phenomenon is believed to be the result of a hyper vigilant state created in the midbrain. More specifically, the emergency response activates in the brain when individuals wake up paralyzed and feel vulnerable to attack. This helplessness can intensify the effects of the threat response well above the level typical to normal dreams; this could explain why hallucinations during sleep paralysis are so vivid. Normally the threat activated vigilance system is a protective mechanism the body uses to differentiate between dangerous situations and determine whether the fear response is appropriate. This threat vigilance system is evolutionarily biased to interpret ambiguous stimuli as dangerous, because “erring on the side of caution” increases survival chances. This could explain why those who experience sleep paralysis generally believe the presence they sense is evil.

Ghosts don’t exist after all!!
Ehehehe Scooby dooby dooo…

You never know true fear until you experience sleep paralysis!! B-)


What are some things that make Indians sad?

Answer by Shikhar Mangla:

1: When we don’t care enough to throw rubbish in a bin but we are the first to call India dirty!

2: When Dhoom 3 remains Housefull for ages but a movie like Udaan is still unseen by millions of Indians.

3: When Yo Yo Honey Singh is more popular than Rabbi.

4: When politicians spend more on building statues than building the nation.

5: Seeing Team India’s batting flounder and wishing that Sachin was there to rescue us.

6: When these guys are called "Youth Icons."

7: When religious affiliation of a person matters more than the kind of human being he is.

8: When Indians donate lakhs to religious institutions but ignore the needy and the NGOs who represent them.

9: When this is what qualifies as the movie of the year at award shows like Filmfare and IIFA!

10: When this is the most watched show on Indian Television.

11: When we have to take to the streets every time we demand justice!

12: When our judicial system refuses to remove archaic laws like Section 377.

13: Any athlete other than a cricketer is worth shit in our country.

14: When the website of the World’s biggest railways looks like this.

15: India making it into lists that we’re not proud of.

16: People treating our streets like urinals and latrines.

17:  When for parents, grades matter more than knowledge.

18: While TV shows abroad are breaking boundaries, all our shows look the same.

19: The great Indian reservation system.

20: When someone gets arrested for writing on Facebook and Twitter.

21: When these guys are called celebs.

22: When the Government has money for gala events but comes up empty when it comes to the needy.

23: The exchange rate…

24: We’re not open to constructive criticism about our country. Even if India is wrong, India is right.

25: When Indian youth don’t know who the President is but know who the winner of Roadies is.


26: And finally, when our best minds who are capable enough of fixing India choose money over the nation.

– See more at: Page on

View Answer on Quora

Rules that guys wish women knew

Finally, someone has took up the challenge and wrote these epic rules which every woman should know. All points are marked ‘#1’ intentionally.

  1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.


  1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, Put it down. When you’re done with the toilet seat, put it back up. You like it down, we like it up. So stop complaining. Did you ever see us complaining because it is down?


  1. Do not cut your hair. Ever!! Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.


  1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!


  1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.


  1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.


  1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, philosophy and monster trucks.


  1. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.


  1. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.


  1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.


  1. You have enough clothes.


  1. You have too many shoes.


  1. Crying is blackmail.


  1. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.


  1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!


  1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.


  1. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.


  1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?


  1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


  1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


  1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.


  1. Check your oil!


  1. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.


  1. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.


  1. No, it does not matter which quiz.


  1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.


  1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.


  1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


  1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.


  1. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.


  1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.


  1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


  1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.


  1. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. If you dress like an easy woman, you should expect to be treated like one.


  1. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.


  1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.


  1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like old windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.


  1. Ditto melon.


  1. If it itches, it will be scratched. Also, if we have to pass gas or burp, we will.


  1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.


  1. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.


  1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.


  1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


  1. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about making out with her. But do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her, together.


  1. Sometimes we just don’t want to talk. Don’t take it personally.


  1. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we’re planning to dump you and jump them.


  1. Our favorite T-shirts are not “disgraceful.” They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation, our favorite childhood superhero or number 23.


  1. Helpless is not cute.


  1. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don’t talk to us while we’re doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don’t hear you (honestly), or we’ll screw up what we’re doing because you’ve distracted us.
    Exception to this Rule : Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.


  1. You can’t complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.


  1. Don’t expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn’t mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.


  1. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.


  1. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, “I went to the beauty shop today.”


  1. We don’t believe you when you say money isn’t important to you.


  1. It’s not that we don’t want to make you happy, it’s just that sometimes, we don’t know how.


The women version isn’t bad either.

  1. When she stares at your mouth, Kiss her


  1. When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she thinks shes stronger than you, Grab her and don’t let go


  1. When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough, Kiss her and tell her you love her


  1. When she’s quiet, Ask her whats wrong


  1. When she ignores you, Give her your attention


  1. When she pulls away, Pull her back


  1. When you see her at her worst, Tell her she’s beautiful


  1. When you see her start crying, Just hold her and don’t say a word


  1. When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind


  1. When she’s scared, Protect her


  1. When she steals your favorite hoodie, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night


  1. When she teases you, Tease her back and make her laugh


  1. When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay


  1. When she looks at you with doubt, Back yourself up


  1. When she says that she loves you, she really does more than you can understand


  1. When she grabs at your hands, Hold her’s and play with her fingers


  1. When she bumps into you; bump into her back and make her laugh


  1. When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold


  1. When she looks at you in your eyes, dont look away until she does


  1. When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers


  1. Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything


  1. When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go


  1. When she says she’s ok don’t believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you


  1. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her


  1. Treat her like she’s all that matters to you


  1. Stay up all night with her when she’s sick


  1. Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid


  1. Give her the world.


  1. Let her wear your clothes


  1. When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her


  1. Let her know she’s important.


  1. Don’t talk about other girls around her


  1. Kiss her in the pouring rain


  1. When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
    “Whose ass am i kicking baby?”

P.S: These rules are written and extended by many people. Thanks to all of them who did a great job in sharing them.

What is the one key reason you will vote for Narendra Modi in the upcoming elections?

Answer by Abhinandan Patil:

Consider this situation.

You are damn hungry and need to eat something ASAP.

There are three cakes from three different bakers on your table. The first one looks very bad. The second one looks just fine, but not that great. The third one looks great.

So simple right? Taste all of them and eat the one which tastes the best? NO. Come on, there has to be some catch.
You can pick just one cake among the three.

NOTE : Looks and the taste of the cakes are completely unrelated.

Cake 1:
You've been eating the cakes from the first baker from 10 years(many of your ancestors visited the same bakery too) and you know it tastes terrible. These bakers have been in town from a long time. Their forefathers used to make good cakes occasionally and they think they have inherited the same qualities. They sell cakes to poor people like you and I and make more profit by overcharging. They also mix a special ingredient in their cakes. There are many family members working in the bakery and all of them make individual profits too.

This is just a rough picture of what the first cake might look like:

Aww, looks dirty. :/

Cake 2:
Now, Jignesh Patel, your friend who stays in the adjacent lane has been eating cakes from the second baker for quite some time. He tells you that the cakes are generally good. But one day, there was some misplaced order to their place which got him and his neighbour fighting. It was kinda big deal, both of them were badly hurt.They both are kinda cool now,you know, they hangout together and all that. He constantly tries to persuade you to eat from the second baker. But you had to avoid, because, you know, it was not possible since you had bought plenty of coupons of the first baker already.

Assume Cake 2 looks like this.

Kinda cool, but, but, where's the icing?

Cake 3:
Man, this one looks great. But wait, it's the the new bakers in town. Uh ho, these people just have the one outlet and not many people have tasted their cakes. And the master baker refuses to work sometimes, he sits outside the bakery with a shawl over his head if doesn't get all the ingredients he wants. Basically not much is known about the quality and consistency of these bakers.These people also seem to have a special ingredient, they claim that their kitchen is open to all and everybody can inspect their baking methods. These bakers are planning to give free cakes to those who haven't paid their previous bills.

Looks yum, doesn't it?

Okay, now you know. No points for guessing who these bakers are.

Which cake would you eat?

The one that looks amazing, but might turn out to be stale?
The one that your friend recommends?
The one that you've been eating(suffering)all these days?

Before deciding, please go back and read the note.

Whatever cake you decide to eat, remember, they make you buy coupons for the next five years, so be careful!!!.

PS: Jignesh Patel is fictional character. Any resemblance to anybody living, dead or a Gujarati is purely co incidental.

PS: I am adding a few things because of some comments which say I haven't answered the question.

I was very plump during my childhood and now I'm one of the skinniest people on earth. Thanks to timely blows from Lee and Ali, you know, those adjacent colony guys. But my health deteriorated mainly because I ate cakes from the first bakers all this time. They overcharged, made me poor and gave me tasteless stale cakes. Meanwhile Jignesh Patel looks healthier now, may be he has put on some weight after eating cakes from the second bakers.

 Time to pick the cake,

First one? NO!
Third? Looks tempting, but, but, they give free cakes to people who don't pay their bills, and I pay my bills :/
Second? Well, I think I'll listen to Jignesh this time.

View Answer on Quora

What does it feel like to be poor?

Answer by Amit Banerjee:

It feels suffocating.

I belong to a middle class family and had never seen “real” poverty during childhood. Yes, I had a Hercules bicycle. Yes I was given good education. Yes, I would go to Disney world once a year. Yes, my parents would take me to holidays. I had a TV video game and a huge collection of cartridges my mom bought for me, when I scored good marks.

Then I entered college. My sister’s marriage was planned, dad bought an apartment and had to pay my fees for engineering. All three events happened in quick succession and we were suddenly in debt.

Somehow, we got scammed and got ourselves chained in bank loans and poverty crept in. It was in such a rush that suddenly, I felt jumping from an airplane without any preparation and now you have to learn to fly as you fall. Or you’re dead.

There was this time range of 2 years (2008-2010) I had to fight poverty on my own. Here is what happened

– No money to pay college fees. Figure out a way to earn that thing yourself
– No money to pay for daily transport. Walk.
– No money for entertainment, movies or parties. Ask your friends for a smoke
– No money for anything except basic food.
– Worst, manage all the heckle of bank. They would send “bouncers” to my house to recover the EMI amount and I had to guard my mom. I was once beaten in my neighborhood in front of everyone for not being able to pay the EMI amount for couple of months. I had to sell furnitures, gold, what not.

I told my father its not worth pursuing my education, given the crisis condition. I should take up a job and raise money for the family. My father said – “Son, you can make money whenever you want but you won’t be able to learn later. This is a difficult time, don’t worry. I myself could not study further and had to take up a job at 18, so I can feed a family of 10 people, my brothers, sister, parents. I won’t let it happen with you. We will somehow manage it, just do your thing”

The year was 2008. My monthly expenses were 900-1500 Rs (this includes food) . My engineering fees was 7000 a month and my family is fighting debt. In Lakhs. Each month, the debt would increase because of that education fee. Imagine the condition of a 22 year old guy who has never seen poverty in his life, sitting with friends who would spend thousands on beer parties and live on their mercy.

I was literally beaten and broken because I had no idea how to generate money, while I am still a student.

I gave interviews in a BPO. Rejected.
I gave interviews in part time jobs. Rejected.
Applied for a teaching job. Rejected.
Every door I knocked, I was rejected.
Every relative/friend I asked for money, slammed the door.

There was a time in my life when I had just 10Rs in my pocket, just in case some emergency comes in and I have to make phone calls from a local telephone booth. I would walk in the streets for days because I didnt have enough money to afford a rickshaw. I would eat water when I am hungry and try to save as much as possible. I would work for hours in a data entry job and get paid Rs 1 for filling up forms, that way I earned Rs 80-100 a day. I saw my father giving up his scooter to save fuel costs. I saw my mom giving up family occasions. I saw my sister selling her jewelry. I would cry in the bathroom. Alone. For months.

When disaster comes, it comes with a battalion from all directions, all at once.

My girlfriend left me when I needed her the most. She said – ” You’re yourself in trouble, without a job, how will I present you infront of my family? ”

I lost her. I loved her, she was the only thing that made me smile but I lost her. For money.

I have died many deaths in those two years but this was the hardest blow. Losing the love of your life because you dont have enough money. I remember our last meeting. It was raining and we were standing below an asbestos shed, enjoying an alpenliebe as that was the only thing I could buy for her.

This shit was so painful that I almost gave up on everything. Weird thoughts started hitting my mind.

Meanwhile, I got a Govt job which I did not like. I walked away. I was broke, beaten and pushed to the corner but I walked away. Somewhere in my heart I had hope. I knew that this is a bad phase which is not permanent. This too shall pass but I could not allow mediocrity to creep in. I had a dream and a temporary crisis is no excuse on giving up on your dreams and settle for mediocrity.

Here is the resignation letter (some portions have been blurred for privacy)

So what are my options now?

Mission statement: Raise money as rapidly as possible and cover up the debt.

  • Government sector – This is full of horse shit. I mean, you know the kind of shit I am talking about.
  • Private sector – No degree. No experience. No skills. Shitty resume. Bad idea.
  • Part time jobs – Possible but not scalable as they are low paying. Won’t be able to scale rapidly.
  • Business – Scalable but read mission statement again. No money in the first place. How do I start a business without money? Are you kidding me

They say when you have hit your lowest point, you’re subject to making the greatest change. That is the point when you realize that you’ve nothing more to lose and then the animal inside you comes out.

Solution: Start a business which does not require initial investment. But this model should be able to scale itself rapidly. In short, the rate of its scaling should be higher than the rate at which the loan scales. Also, their should be some kind of virality associated with it, so that it spreads itself, without me having to spread it.

Weapon: Internet and Time. Let’s get some shit done.

I made up a website with 700 INR. Fuck, I did not have 700Rs to buy the domain name. I bought it again on debt. Here is a bill which is very close to my heart…..(it says Rs 275 in debt)

I didn’t succeed in the first go. I had ZERO technical knowledge on how to build a website. But that was not going to stop me because I don’t have any other option. My survival depends on this and I have to do it, come what may.

My first website didn’t pick up, Failed.

I made up a second one. It didn’t work either.

I made up a third website. Failed.

Devastated, I gave it a fourth try. Countless hours spent in Googling, coding, writing and building it. I remember those days. I locked myself in a balcony and Googled all day long. Nights, days, weeks, toiled like a madman. I suffered from Jaundice and lost 14-20 Kgs. That was the time I realized what hard work means.

First month, I made $1.29. Second month, I made $8. Third month I made $21.

And then some more. And then some more. And then some more………

When a wolf starts smelling blood and flesh around, he becomes a dangerous beast. I had smelled my flesh and now I jumped on my prey with all I’ve got.

Generated $40,000 in two years. (For those curious and who doubt my story in comments – I didn’t raise it from a single website, there were some small sites as well. Also, I did a good amount of freelancing. This is to ensure I have multiple ways of generating money, should the main site crashes. The site did suffer a major blow but by that time I had solidified my basement.)

Here is a picture of my balcony, where I used to work on my website and other things (yes a CRT monitor and a broken laptop which college authorities had gifted me)

I did not wanted to share stats, but after some people requested it, here goes the journey of the website.

Adversity causes some men to break, others to break records.

Paid off the whole debt. Saved a bit.

Today, I work at LinkedIn. Its like a dream come true for me.

(No I am not an MBA. No I am not an IITan. No I did not go to US to get a degree from an Ivy league university. No I did not get it through campus placement. No I did not make it through employee referral. I am just another average graduate from just another average engineering college. I just did one thing and did it well. Put my heart and soul into what I really wanted to do.)

(I am at the extreme left, red kurta and dhoti. Colleagues are overjoyed on cultural day. More pics here Cultural Day @ Slideshare/LinkedIn Delhi)

But the lessons I have learned in those two years has helped me shape up my character and be a better person. Those were the longest and hardest 2 years I will never be able to forget. Also the most worthwhile time of my life so far.

I don’t waste money now. No show off. Yearly vacations – Yes. Weekend parties – No. No costly gadgets. Don’t buy shit you don’t need. Don’t buy “branded” stuff just because every other clueless idiot is doing it. No. Don’t.

Lesson learned the hard way – Be grateful for what you have.

These days, my parents are looking a bride for me. When the girl’s father asks for my salary, I smile and say “I hope your daughter gets a wealthy guy. Because I know money matters. Every single rupee counts.”

When I return home in flight, a part of me cries. Not because I am spending money on traveling which can be done in train. I feel bad thinking someone in this planet needs this money to feed himself. And here I am, traveling in a jet to save time because I am short on leaves.

Lesson: Be kind, for everyone out there is fighting a hard battle.

Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes. Here is sharing the first cheque I received from my website. This was that day when I have cried the most.

Whenever I am in trouble, I open my archive and see this cheque. This gives me all the strength I need.

Some tips to graduates, students who are yet to enter “real world”

1. Lead a loan free life. Need a car? Wait, don’t jump into an EMI. Save and then buy the car. Avoid banks as much as possible. No credit cards, I don’t need cashback and other things. Want to study abroad? Don’t take huge educational loan. If at all you take loans, have something to fall back on. Money is fire, you gotta be careful. Save. Every month Pay Yourself First

2. Make mistakes. Fail, fail fast and make it public. Don’t drag it on. I wouldn’t have succeeded in this wild venture if I listened to people telling me I write shitty articles. In fact, all I wrote for the first year was pure garbage. But here is the thing. I didn’t stop. I kept pressing on because I had no time.

3. Do not be ashamed of your situation. I could have written it Anonymously, so that my Facebook friends never know how miser my life was. But No. I am not ashamed of the truth. Accept life as it is.

4. Do not compare your life with anyone.

I see a new trend, specially in Quora. People comparing their life with IITans and IIM graduates. As if, IITans don’t have any struggle in life. As if IIM graduates are the happiest people. Trust me, its a myth. They too have challenges, they too have problems in their life. Keeping the expectation of society because you’re an IITan or IIM graduate is no easy feat. The moment an interviewer sees the word IITan on a resume, he himself prepares the toughest questions. If you compare your life with someone else’s, you will not achieve peace.

5. Be very careful when success comes to you easily. It’s treacherous path to tread down. You must see failure before success, otherwise you will not know the value. Lets say you sit in a campus interview and clear it in one shot, take up the job and keep doing it for years, chances are high that you will regret – “Why I did not explore? What for?” Also, do not expect to get lucky everytime. You will be in trouble somewhere down the road, then what are you going to do?

6. Do something on your own. However small or big, doesn’t matter. Do something completely from scratch and learn how to sell that thing. This will teach you life lessons you will use for the rest of your life.

This will also give you huge confidence. I don’t have any fear in my mind. Fear of what? The worst that can happen is that I will lose my day job. So what? I have worked on my own for 3-4 years without any help and have overcomed a huge financial crisis on my own, without a job. So if I am in trouble again, I know how to make my way.

7. Do not make one disappointment the center of your life.

When some incident shatters all the plans, hopes and aspirations, people start considering that pain and hurt to be the center of their lives and continue to live their lives around it.When people start considering one obstacle, challenge or misery to be the center of their life, and stops the very momentum of life, they cannot become successful in life. Nor can they achieve happiness and contentment.

8. Help people as much as possible. My friend Soumen Halder was with me during that tough phase. WE have had many fights. But he was there. When the storm had settled down at my end, he was going through a tough time. I pulled him out and  secured his position at a startup I was working.

9. Do not be obsessed with “perfection”. You don’t need a perfect solution. You need a solution which is “good enough”.

People say “passion” is everything. Trust me, its wrong. Passion is not everything. Noone interviews a passionate musician who played guitar for 20 years, never copied someone else’s music and call it his own.

You should have a Goal. Well, wrong again. How do you know where you are going when you are full of doubts?

I believe, you need a problem. A massive problem. A crisis. Solve that shit and you will have those answers. Most of this comes from experimentation. And to experiment, you need systems.

Big things will happen from many small things. So lets say if you have 10 small things in your pocket, one of them will be big. You don’t know which one is your trump card.

Now this calls for a well deserved rant, take it with a grain of salt.


10. Failure is acceptable. Every single person fails. You know what’s not acceptable? NOT TRYING. I see most people giving up without even trying in the first place.

So you hate your job. What are you doing to find something you love? You dedicate so much for your girlfriend, you spend hours chatting in Facebook, you go to weekend parties and then on Monday morning, you are ready with your excuses. Stop pretending. Yes You, I am telling this to you. Stop being a hypocrite to yourself. Yes, I am angry and shouting because I know you’re not giving your 100%.

You keep feeding excuses to your brain everyday. Things like – “I don’t find time to do this. I don’t have 60%, I won’t be able to sit in some campus placement interview, I am a loser. She will leave me, my parents, he is lucky because he has an MBA, I dont have a rich father, recession is coming, not many companies are hiring electrical engineers, everyone is shooting for IT companies. I must get some money to pursue MS from US, otherwise its impossible to succeed…..I am a girl and I cannot survive outside my home because of rising crime against women, I am this I am that….” FUCK..!

WTF dude? WTF are you thinking? You need a massive thrashing from life. Someone must tie you with a rope and beat you up like shit, then you will do it. You dumbass, stop telling yourself those imaginary lies. Stop cribbing over your misery. Stop crying over your weaknesses. JUST DO IT. You’re not a kid who cries over a fucking lollypop. Get off your ass…!!!!!


11. Time for another analogy. Its what we call – “Filmy bullshit” 🙂

Hector and Achilles – both are great warriors. Hector is a noble spirit while Achilles doesn’t give any damn on anything.

Hector doesn’t “seek” wars. He sits in his comfort zone and waits for the war to come. His logic – “Yes, I am a warrior but that doesn’t mean I should be looking for a war and invite trouble.”

Achilles “seeks” war. He never sits in his comfort zone, he finds where a war is happening and goes there to fight it. His logic – “I am a warrior, my character is fighting wars. I will find wars and fight it. If I don’t, war is going to come anyway and then I will be beaten.”

Now who do you think will win, the person who sat in his comfort zone waiting for the war or the person who fought wars anyway?

Be like Achilles. Find wars, fight them. If you be like Hector, someday some Achilles will come and beat the shit out of you, kill you and drag your dead shit in front of everyone.

As he said – There are no pacts between lions and men.

12. Life is hard. Remember that dialogue from Rang de Basanti,

“Gate ke is taraf hum life ko nachate hain, to dujji taraf life humko nachati hai”

I don’t care who you are and how much money you have, life will beat you down to your knees and keep you there if you let it. Be prepared. Value relationships, you will need them someday.

There is a poem in Hindi by Harivansh Ray Bachhan which you should remember

लहरों से डराकर नौका पार नहीं होती ,
कोशीश कराने वालों की हार नहीं होती

नन्ही चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है ,
चढ़ती दीवारों पर , सौ बार फिसलती है
मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है ,
चढ़कर गिरना , गिरकर चढ़ना ना अखरता है ।
आखीर उसकी म्हणत बेकार नहीं होती ,
कोशीश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती

दुब्कियाँ सिंधु में गोताखोर लगता है ,
जा जा कर खली हाथ लौटकर आता है
मिलते नही सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में ,
बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में ।
मुठी उसकी खली हर बार नहीं होती ,
कोशीश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती

असफलता एक चुनौती है , इसे स्वीकार करो ,
क्या कमी रह गयी , देखो और सुधर करो ।
जब तक ना सफल हो , नींद चेन को त्यागो तुम ,
संघर्ष का मैदान छोड़कर मत भागो तुम .
कुछ किये बिना ही जय जेकर नहीं होती ,
कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती ।

What has poverty taught me?

I got a few questions in my inbox – “If you succeeded in your website, why did you choose a job?”

Here is the thing I have learned from poverty, being broke, establishing a small business from scratch. Money is not everything in life. Neither is your job title. Nor is your MBA degree. Life is much more greater than these petty things. Life is all about the experiences you make. I could have sit at home and pursued my website, earn more money but I would miss out experiences which are far more valuable. 25-35 is that time of your life when you can explore and do whatever you want. If you give up your freedom for money, one day you may have to regret it. You’re going to die anyway, so the amount of money in your bank is useless. Make experiences, not wealth. Money is important and it matters but far more valuable is gaining experiences, inviting challenges, accepting how life unfolds. Live in different cities, work on small jobs, you will see the true color of life. You will never be able to realize this if you sit in your comfort zone. Get out of your comfort zone and do stuff you’re afraid to do, do things you want to do.

P.S: I still cry for her.

Some People you can take inspiration from

When you have empty pockets, you will need inspiration. Let me tell you, I am not the only guy out there. I am just average, there are people who have exceptional stories of their own. I know some of them personally, have met a few and have connected online since 4-5 years.

Here is a small list of entrepreneurs and technology bloggers I know whom you can refer for inspiration (in no particular order)

  • Amit Agarwal (the godfather of Indian tech blogging) – Digital Inspiration
  • Keith D’Souza (this guy is my hero, he was my inspiration and mentor. I am grateful to him in so many ways beyond explanation, not because of the money I earned from freelancing. I am grateful because he gave me guidance, he taught me the tricks of the trade. I was a sophomore, would commit silly mistakes and he would correct it, show me the way.  I wrote close to 400 articles in the site he started. my articles – Amit Banerjee – Techie Buzz)
  • Amit Ranjan (SlideShare COO and cofounder, I am under his mentorship now) Webyantra
  • Raju PP – Technology Personalized
  • Sandip Dedhia – BlogsDNA
  • Abhijeet Mukherjee (I know him. Amazing writer.)
  • Rohit Langde ( I know him personally. Nice fella!) Blogsolute
  • Rishabh Agarwal (He quit his corporate career and pursued Photography. and he is a real badass at what he does – Rish Photography)
  • Pathik Shah – growth hacker at Hike. He quit his IIM dream and went the startup way. Pathik Shah
  • Debajyoti Das – We belong to the same hometown, Calcutta. Our stories are similar.
  • Ashish Mohta –
  • Harsh Agarwal – This guy teaches how to raise money online. Good resource- Shouters Who Inspire
  • Unitechy Tech Analysis (this goes to all those girls who think technology is for men, she will blow your mind)
  • Rajesh (we call him Pandu). If you break your mobile into a million pieces, he will still fix it for you. Rajesh (ePandu) on Twitter
  • Puneet Jain MobiGyaan
  • Sathyajith – Sathya Says (Linux geek …we call him just Sathya.  )
  • Arpit (one of the first guys whom I met online. Alpha geek.
  • Mayur –
  • Shankar Ganesh – He is just 22 years old and well ahead of his time. Killer Tech Tips

This list is endless and I can go on and on. More awesome people here
The Best Indian Bloggers

To the people who think this is a cooked up story to garner popularity, sympathy, upvotes or whatever:

Dude, I didn’t write it for you. Because I know you haven’t been through what I have been. Had you walked in my shoes, you wouldn’t have had doubts over my crying words. I have written this for that soul who is in trouble and needs inspiration. I know that soul is reading it and I know that soul will one day thank me for this. That is all.

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World’s Best Mom

Alive In You

That’s a lofty title, I know. And believe it or not, I know her. Even more amazing (to me) is that I’m married to her.

One might think the world’s best mom would be someone with years of motherly experience and a number of kids — someone who has been doing it for a long time. My wife, Katie, doesn’t come close to qualifying under those terms. You see, we’re new parents. Our first son, Randol Thomas, was born on Thursday at 12:56 a.m. at the incredibly young gestational age of 25 weeks and 4 days. That happy moment had a sad ending when our baby boy lost his life later that morning at 5:20 a.m. after struggling for hours to try and breathe with what we knew were severely underdeveloped lungs — something we knew would be an issue after my wife’s water broke at just 18 weeks.

So how could…

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